"France Slowly Creeps up on Florida"
For a second I thought it was a story about plate tectonics (I hadn't had my coffee, ok?) But the fun didn't stop there:
"Millions told to flee France"
That's odd - I hear it's nice this time of year.
"France cuts power to 2 million people in Florida"
Their anti-Americanism has gone too far.
France Slow, Fierce
I thought that's how they described us.
And finally: "Storm Carries Undercurrent of Angst"
Mais bien sur! This is truly a storm the French existentialists would've found familiar.