Hospital Hijinx

The Onion provides some helpful hints for those going to a hospital, such as:

  • Pack several extra pairs of slippers. Slippers in the hospital are like cigarettes in prison.

  • Bring $500 in fives to "grease the wheels," if you get my meaning. The good mashed potatoes.

  • If bruised, find a hospital known to have a good bruise ward.

It's a good bet this will appear in a chart room or two, by the end of the week.